I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
