Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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