Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
