I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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