you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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