waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
