Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
