I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
