Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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