Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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