I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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