Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
