even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize