I'm jealous of your bromance
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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