The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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