you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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