hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
