i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
