NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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