Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
