i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
