She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
