yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
