i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
