Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
