i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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