i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
