Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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