If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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