Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
