I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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