We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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