just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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