The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
