I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
