my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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