woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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