why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
