stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
