yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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