Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
