I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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