I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
