at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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