i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
