So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
