he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
