i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Randomize
