I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You have to summon your inner elephant
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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