forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
