It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
