Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just found out that she named her cat after me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
